I have nothing against art (except my own).
But when people line up in droves, fighting you for a peek at “maggot art”, you know that society has taken a turn for the worst.
It doesn’t take a special maggot to create a masterpiece, just one with enough energy to make it across a canvas.
I never thought that maggots would be taking jobs away from the rest of us. They’ve already proven to be better doctors at dealing with hard-to-heal wounds: When the general surgeon is stumped by a festering sore that has no chance of improving, maggots get thrown into the mix to save the day. They make sure to meticulously remove all dead cells while keeping healthy tissue intact. Maggots are capable of so much…and they don’t even have opposable thumbs…or even hands for that matter.
These
chubby little worms promote healing, disinfect wounds and are willing to give doctors all the credit.
Who knew that a maggot was such a mensch?
The hospital is a fairly stressful environment though, even for the most experienced maggot, so it’s no surprise that many of these little grubs have turned to the arts.
Obviously their paintings don’t sell for much: First of all, maggots with a talent for wiggling around in paint are not that hard to come by. And second of all, maggots will do the job for a small piece of old bologna.
So in the end, all you’re paying for is the paint and the paper…and maybe some rotten meat.
I’m just worried about those bastard maggots undercutting my prices…
I need at least a whole pizza to do my job right.


April 19th, 2010
Seafoodpuncher 
Posted in
Tags:
People are suckers when it comes to the 
We’ve come a long way since then, stuffing everything from 

Living in the Middle East, I didn’t have a lot of English books to choose from as a kid, and for some reason or another I ended up with titles like “Weird Crap You Are Better Off Not Reading About”, “True Horror Stories”, “Haunted Houses”, “Encounters with the Paranormal” and “Top 100 unsolved mysteries”. Maybe it was the store owner’s way of punishing me for reading in English, but I bought the books anyway. Needless to say, the books I waddled out of the store with messed me up. They messed me up good.



After reading through recipes involving guinea-pig stir fry, Newfoundland Seal Flipper Pie and Hog’s Head Scrapple (I’d rather not describe the stuff), and overcoming a slight case of nausea, I was just simply amazed at the global variety of foods (and at the amount of free time I had at my disposal).