Seafoodpunch

I like my desk messy. Not because it gives people the false impression that I’m busy, but because ANY little piece of crap is entertaining when you need a slight distraction.

Before my little collection of plants, toys, photos and snacks I would resort to batting around a ball of lint to help me procrastinate. But no more!!! Now I have all kinds of toys lying around my desk which people are more than happy to sell me.

There is a whole market for office toys for god’s sake…and what’s worse is that we BUY the magnetic mini sculptures, rubber band sling shots and humping dog USB sticks. After these proud purchases, we whittle away at the very jobs we can’t quit because they help us pay for all this shit. It’s a conspiracy!!

What has the world come to?? We need constant entertainment. Even though our kids are suffocating under mounds of gameboys, glittery balls, plush toys and board games, they still wheeze out requests for the latest video game or the new doll that can now, not only burp and pee, but also crap herself (poopie packs sold separately)! OMG, I’m totally going to buy one and make it poop on my desk!

Life could be worse, though. We all need toys. Even thousands of years ago, people would slap together some clay and sticks to create a makeshift doll. But toys were meant for kids. In Greece, girls would sacrifice their dolls to the Gods right before marriage symbolizing the transition from child to adult. I’m sure their husbands never heard the end of it….

Now you’re a prude for not wanting to play with toys as an adult. Pth.

It’s gotten hard to tell where childhood ends and adulthood begins…but thank God for that.