Posts Tagged ‘possum’

Impossumable

April 21st, 2009 Seafoodpuncher

I'm a fainter not a fighter

One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen was a ”fainting goat”. If you havn’t seen the video, you gotta check it out (it gets really good 50 seconds in).  Either way, these chubby little goats will stiffen up and flop onto their sides as soon as they are startled. It doesn’t take much: Just swinging a bright christmas sweater around your head will send the goats into a frantic heap.

The older goats learn to lean up against something so they don’t fall over so ungracefully while others learn to hobble around on stiff  legs until they regain muscle control. But most of the goats just end up rolling around on the ground.

I don’t know WHY a goat would think that falling onto its back with 4 hoofs pointing awkwardly up at the sky would improve any situation, but that’s what they do. The whole process lasts about 10 seconds because the goats immediately get back up again. Doesn’t seem like their hearts are really in it.

Possums, on the other hand, take things to another level: They are utterly dedicated to playing dead. If a foaming mouth and complete paralysis for up to 2 hours isn’t enough, a possum will even make itself SMELL like roadkill to convince us that no amount of poking will bring on a reaction. As far as I’m concerned, the possum is probably a favorite out of all the animals that have ever hissed at me and eaten their way through my pantry.

Possums are troopers from the very beginning: A mother plops out about 20 tiny babies that all have to ‘swim’ their way through her fur and to her pouch to develop further. I’ve stayed with a family of 20 kids before. It’s NOT fun. Poor possums…stuck in a sweaty little room with all of their brothers and sisters for three months. Nooooo thank you.

Anyway, I’m pretty much writing this story because I spent two hours drawing this damn possum cartoon for someone and wanted to have a reason to use it here too.

Some more fun possum (opossum) facts:

-Possums can’t jump

-This is completely unrelated to fact one, but “apasum” (the native term for the possum) means “white”

-Possums have opposable thumbs

-Possums are way better to have around than rats

-I hate rats

-A lot of older cook books call for opossum in their recipes

opossums enjoy the occassional garbage

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Why Does This Cat Look Like Satan?

December 18th, 2008 Seafoodpuncher

This is one of the better Craigslist ads I’ve seen in a while:

I crack up every time I look at it. I just imagine a poor, bewildered possum getting picked up off the porch by a nearsighted little man who doesn’t know the difference between a wild animal and a house cat…and then the post “CAT FOUND!”. He is so excited about his find, but you can’t help but feel sorry for the man. The possum, on the other hand, doesn’t know what to make of the bowl of cat food, but I’m sure he isn’t too unhappy about it. The thing does look cheerful in the first photo (almost like he’s laughing at the person taking the picture).

What about the asian man who ended up with a vengeful arctic fox, when he thought he bought a pomeranian puppy? See the full article HERE.

It seems that wild animals are taking advantage of people’s ignorance to sneak into their homes, scratch up their faces and feast on the food that’s thrown at them. Animals are evolving all the time. I doubt that they want to be kept as pets, but seeing articles like this does make it look like they planned it all out. We’ve encroached on their territory long enough: Now it’s time for them to sneak into OUR homes, eat OUR food and poop on OUR floors!

"I did NOT sign up for this"Moving along: Here is another prime example of a good person making the mistake of opening his doors to a wild animal: A Chinese herdsmen found what he thought were two orphaned kittens while taking his sheep out to graze.

In the past few months these kittens have grown into full-blown snow leopards that snack on the poor farmers sheep, chickens and pride. He doesn’t look all too happy in the photo.  I imagine that when this photo was taken, herdsman Zhang Peiwei (that’s his real name, by the way) was wondering if he might have inadvertantly spilled some growth hormones into the cat food.

Just think twice before you pick up that cute black and white, striped cat rooting around your trash. It may all be planned out and part of the animal rebellion. You don’t want to end up like PeiWei.

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