Feeling ambitious, I walk farther than usual and find a store full of all kinds of crap; perfect to pass the time. I walk the isles, poking at curiosities like crystal hot dogs, and cat shaped clocks. What’s even more fascinating is how many people are in the store with baskets loaded with stuff I wouldn’t give my worst enemy.

I start feeling uncomfortable. The shop owner has been following me around with her grey eyes for a while. All of sudden she sighs and says, “It’s about time you showed up. I was wondering if you’d ever pick up the yodeling pickle we’d put on hold for you.”

No, I’ve never been in the store, I have enough pickles, I don’t have my wallet, no I don’t want to see the new shipment of novelty packing peanuts and you’ve confused me for someone else. I blame the glaucoma evident in the shopkeeper’s eyes, but it’s not the first time I’ve been mistaken for someone else.

How many people are out there that look like me, I wonder? I guarantee that if not now, then in the past century, there has been at least one person born with an uncanny resemblance to this gorgeous reflection staring back at me right now.

TotallyLooksLike is a site with a similar idea. Not only does it compare people to each other, but to cartoons, statues, pets, nuts and vegetables that look like a specific person. Lets use a couple of Jacksons as reference: Jesse Jackson looks like a pug, no quesion, and Michael Jackson looks like one of those egyptian statues that have the habit of losing their noses as well.

It’s embarassingly entertaining to look at the site, but it does make you wonder: Is there some kind of lonely little dachshund that might look like me? Or a filthy rich Russian millionare whos twin I could pretend to be? Not only that, but how weird is it, that with the billions of looks influenced by our genes, so many people exist that look like siblings?

I guess in a sense it’s true that we’re all related, but I’d rather not wonder whether I’m dating someone who may have the same great-grandparents that I do. Back to the point: Comparing people to things like dogs, potatoes, broken statues and each other is another fun way to pass the time.

Thank you, that is all.

Corey in his Starbucks Office Photo Credit: Chrisdiclerico.com

You can definitely rake in some cash while you’re homeless: One savvy computer nerd, Corey, actually set up a consulting company with the help of a computer he found in a dumpster. He then took advantage of the free internet provided at coffee shops by day and kinkos by night (where he also slept).  You an read his story HERE.

Some homeless people are actually called adventurers: What about all those backpackers who havn’t showered in days, and smell like a pot of boiling brussel sprouts? They may be covered in lice, grime, sweat and dandruff but they keep on smiling because they’re just so happy with life (or they’re high, I dont know). These people aren’t considered homeless…they are called ‘ world travelers’ or ’hippies’.  Maybe homeless people should strap on a big backpack and hold on to a Fodor’s travel book to avoid annoyed looks.

There is a definite stigma attached to being homeless, but the truth is that only the obvious bums who don’t do anything but sit around asking for money give the rest a bad name. Some homeless people live on the streets by choice and have no characteristics that make them stand out amongst the other thousands of people who hang out in the area. 

You can be homeless, but that doesn’t mean that you’re a lazy bum. You have to be smart and you have to keep the few possessions you have safe, while getting rid of others-like lice and crabs-that you are better off without. click HERE for the Survival Guide to Homelessness, written by a relatively intelligent man who spent a few years living on the street. (there haven’t been any postings for a while, but the content is still relevant)

There are a few tricks to surviving in “the survival guide to homelessness. ” For example, the author suggests using some sex lube and a thimble full of water to help the razor glide across your face without the need to buy expensive shaving creams. You may be homeless…but you still want to look attractive to the ladies. Looking good may get you a few invitations to spend the night in a nice warm bed which comes with a shower in the morning.

We all know that the economy sucks right now. Countless people have been skulking out of their offices after being told that there just isn’t any money left to pay for their days spent making photo copies and chitchatting next to the water cooler. Being homeless may be a welcome option though, if you want to save some money (and don’t have a family that will definitely NOT be enthused about this new-found lifestyle.) I, for one, couldn’t live without my microwave and Adult-Swim (sad, I know).