I don’t like things in my eyeball. Sand, saltwater and unlucky bugs have all weaseled their way underneath my eyelids, but NOTHING was as painful as last week’s chili pepper . It has taken me years to adjust to eating spicy foods. I’m half German, which means that my mother...

This image is based on a true story I heard through Idothings (we’ll see if this masterpiece gets used there). For now, enjoy the image and remember to keep a nail-gun or stapler  in the medicine cabinet in case you ever saw off a body part by mistake. If you currently don’t...

Most four year olds just want to play with their toys, run around making as much noise as possible and maybe harass their parents after watching a commercial about the newest kind of McNugget. Getting their toenails cut down to nothing, and then having their toes broken isn’t really...