If I were going to have a giant stone statue in my front yard, there’s no question which animal I’d choose: Griffin. Ever since I was a little boy.

“A griffin? Why?” my wife asked, as if she had to.

“It’s an eagle AND a lion. It’s the two kings of the animal world wrapped up in one neat little package. It’s a symbol of royalty, and, if they existed, they would be, unequivocally, the scariest thing on the planet. What’s more terrifying than a lion that can fly and tear you apart with it’s razor sharp beak?”

“A bear with sharks for arms,” she replied without missing a beat.

I thought about that for a moment and conceded the point.

“Touché, baby,” I said.

After reading that paragraph, my life had meaning again! I would draw this creature…the scariest thing on the planet. And I have to say, I’ve created something beautiful.

It brings tears to my eyes. Tears of FEAR!

Unfortunately, my friend Greg doesn’t tend to agree with me, and claims that the image below looks more like a perverted bear with his paws rammed up a couple of sharks’ asses- Sort of like a grizzly puppeteer.

Whatever! That’s an ESCALATED level of scary awesome! Who isn’t afraid of puppets?!

I don’t know why people don’t take me seriously.