Pizza is an overpriced drug. You devour the greasy pile of bread, cheese and pepperoni and are left deliriously happy or …and this is more likely… in an utter daze-completely useless to society while suffering from the dreaded food coma.  In fact, the creator of the first Office...

Want a volcano article? been there done...

I have nothing against art (except my own). But when people line up in droves, fighting you for a peek at “maggot art”, you know that society has taken a turn for the worst. It doesn’t take a special maggot to create a masterpiece, just one with enough energy to make it across a...

Aaaaand we’re back! You’d think I’d be older and wiser now (that’s what happens on your birthday right?), but I made sure to start the weekend off at a vodka factory ensuring that my mental age wouldn’t advance too much (thanks to some toxic fumes and vodka tasting). You’re...

Easter is full of surprises; it’s a celebration of spring, rebirth, new beginnings…and rotten eggs. Unfortunately, a well hidden Easter egg doesn’t smell too good when it is resurrected a few months later. This was the traditional method of reenacting the rebirth of Jesus in...

It’s amazing how a little bit of traffic turns even the gentlest, cookie-baking granny into a screeching banshee. I’ve gotten used to the fact that California and traffic go hand in hand, but when the reason for a mile long standstill is nothing more than a stalled car, I get...

I mentioned my dog’s embarrassing problem a few posts back. To make up for his non-existent bowl movements, he has decided to cover everything in urine instead. Plants, bikes, fire hydrants, sidewalks, pant legs…NOTHING can escape the stream. This dog prances around the...

Vacuuming is the only chore people can get real satisfaction from. The proof is right there in the bag! Just seeing the container bulge after inhaling hair, dirt, dust, toy poodles, and various body parts is enough to make you want to keep going. The only downfall is that vacuuming enlightens...

I love shrimp. They are both cute and tasty…two qualities I look for in every meal. Some religions view shrimp as cockroaches of the sea … and so these poor little, crusty nuggets are deemed unfit for human consumption. It doesn’t seem fair! You should consider yourself lucky...

Everyone makes mistakes, the problem is that people are too embarassed to tell each other about them. Not me!   How else are you gonna learn that mixing NyQuil and vicodin lands you in the ER?!   Let me explain: When you’ve caught the swine flu, and your back goes out from all the...

Gray has got to be the LEAST appetizing color. I came to this revelation when the soggy breakfast burrito staring back at me during a transcontinental flight was full of nothing but horrifying gray lumps. It caused immediate depression. Think of ONE gray food that tastes good! BESIDES mushroom...

Sorry the post isn’t going to live up to the title. I’m currently taking the time to work on a few portfolio pieces (while looking for work) and so I’m just going to plop a work in progress in here. I haven’t figured out what to put in that box, but it will come to me...

During an all too brief vacation in Kauai, I learned two things: 1)      Coconuts are natural laxatives 2)      Don’t turn your back on a chicken I’ve had a few relationships with chickens and they’ve typically been good ones, but this trip to Kauai changed my whole perspective...

People will pay good money to watch a whale expel a cloud of snot into the air while it gracefully slides out of the water for a short breather. Unfortunately, watching your 300 pound brother-in-law perform the same feat doesn’t leave observers feeling all fuzzy inside… and people will...