Ever want the Jacuzzi to yourself? Well, the solution would be to avoid putting any chlorine in the bacteria riddled water so you end up with a nice, fresh “hot tub rash”. Sure, it will itch, and it sure as hell will be uncomfortable. But at least you know that nobody will want to get into...

Zombies are aware of two things.  Well…ONE thing at least: Their stomachs. And with a constant craving for flesh, zombies are having a hard time staying in shape. In today’s health conscience world, zombies know that a steady diet of brains is really the only way to go. Intestines,...

You know what ruins a bathroom trip? No…it’s not the pet Labrador trying to push the door open, or the water from an eccentric toilette splashing up at your starfish, or the husband yelling at you to hurry up. No, my friends, it’s all about the toilette paper. Revisions are made to TP on...

Listen people! I have to say this in case any previous employers read my blog…do NOT under any circumstances handle bats. Call your local wildlife rehabilitator. I know Twilightis all the rage…STILL…but making out with a bat is a guaranteed way of getting rabies since the virus is in...

While visiting Germany, I learned how Europeans really felt about Americans – “fat, lazy, gun slinging, burger-loving Americans”. The younger generation knows better, though. You’re not going to get mugged or shot by a rogue hillbilly while traveling around this...

Your morning can’t be off to a great start when it feels like you’ve made out with your cat’s butt all night long. Thankfully, I have no cats, but morning breath is one of the worst thing to wake up to (second to a cat’s butthole). I’m not ashamed to admit that oral hygiene is a big...