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The End
Signs of the apocalypse are everywhere.
First it was a volcano barfing up smoke all over Europe, then a gaping hole swallowed a small portion of south America, and as if that wasn’t enough to get our attention, earthquakes began rolling through town driving the message home:
The world is ending.
Whatever. It’s all happened before and it didn’t mean a damn thing.
But I became a true believer when things got a little more personal: After laughing through the movie 2012, with the scariest thing of the night involving a bad mix of Mexican food, I woke up to find a grey hair sprouting out of my head…mocking me. This was my punishment for not accepting the signs that my world was collapsing around me.
The day after that, my pants stopped fitting, the music on the radio was too racy, my body began to betray me in public, and I decided that cats made excellent pets.
F&%K!
Life as I know it IS ending. By the time 2012 comes around I’ll probably be hobbling my way into a shallow grave. The only sign of my existence will be the few teeth left behind in the more consistent foods I bite into.
For in 2012, I’ll be th…uhm…. OLDer.
I just don’t understand why the mayans would have created a calendar revolving around an event I’ve already planned to drink my way through
weird.
I haven’t yet found any gray hairs in my own head, but my DH has several sprinkled through his. If my first gray hair makes my pants stop fitting, I think I’ll just kill myself now. I have enough trouble getting a pair to fit from one year to the next without going up a size! Maybe I’ll be one of those old ladies who gets really scrawny! That would be worth it, even if I did look like a stringy chicken.
@ Surfie: Id worry more about a first grey hair making its way in your pants. That’s usually a bad sign…but I dont mind. I think i prefer chubbier old ladies to the scrawny ones…not FAT….but a little chubbier only because they look a little more friendly. I could be wrong tho…and biast.
@ JD: you are right. sweaty underboob is a real curse. haha…and nono seafood is here to stay…and will be improved shortly! maybe..
I have a fair amount of gray, but it honestly doesn’t bother me.
The sweating under the boobs? That bothers me.
(I was terrified when I saw the title of your post in my reader. I thought it was the end of Seafood Punch! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
The Mayans are dead and gone. I think they don’t know what they’re talking about. The cycle IS 26,000 years long, give or take a few centuries. It’s hard to predict when the world will end and the new cycle begins, over that length of time. It might have ended already, and we didn’t notice. Oops.