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Pizza Deal
Pizza is an overpriced drug.
You devour the greasy pile of bread, cheese and pepperoni and are left deliriously happy or
…and this is more likely…
in an utter daze-completely useless to society while suffering from the dreaded food coma.
In fact, the creator of the first Office Pizza Party was a mild-mannered terrorist trying to destroy a company from the inside out. It would have almost worked if the employees hadn’t already built up a tolerance to the high-calorie treats associated with a government job.
You know exactly what’ll happen after you digest the greasy mess, but just a glimpse of a pizza on tv is enough to get you going.
It takes a lot of research before finding a pizza that’s right for you. After all, not everyone has the same reaction to specific pizza styles.
First, you have to find the best dealer in your area. I found mine via yelp.
After ordering your preferred toppings, a quick transaction is made between you and the pimply delivery boy and you’re free to do with the pizza as you wish. I usually eat mine, but I’m told that there are other options.
Even though pizza is currently the most popular take-home food item in the nation, it came from humble beginnings in Europe: It may have even started as the throw-away dough used to test ovens back in the day.
One of the earliest versions of a pizza involved baking a simple, flat bread underneath some stones in a fire and then using the finished product as a yeasty plate for the more flavorful foods. Eaten mainly by peasants, early pizzas (baked flatbread with cheap toppings) were banned from royal courts because of their association with the poor.
Now pizza is banned from homes run by housewives who believe that carbs will send you to the third circle of hell.
I have nothing against pizza.
I love it! Poor man’s food is the BEST! Just look at IHOP! Or taco trucks! Or burgers!
Pizza has been a part of some of the best days of my life (except the one that involved me alone at home with a large pepperoni pizza and the movie ‘Bedazzled’).
Pizza is fine in moderation. You know you’re in really bad shape though, when you’ve got pizza hut on speed dial and massive forts made of pizza boxes.
Just don’t operate any heavy machinery after sucking down a slice.
Pizza is about the only drug I’ve got left. Don’t even try to make me go cold turkey. Those delicious carbs are the only think keeping me alive.
@ JD: dont worry. you can still have pizza. I love it too much to ever stop either. I tried the healthier version of cheese on apple slices. But i have to drink wine when i do that and still ended up a drunk mess on the couch.
@ Surfie: I thought the same thing about ben & Jerry’s and had planned on changing it…but at 2am last night i was just too tired! and yes…pizza is totally like crack! I still need to find a decent pizza place around here, though. =(
It definitely has crack-like tendencies. All I have to do is catch a single quick glimpse of a TV commercial for any brand of pizza, and I’m salivating and suddenly ravenous for pizza.
I’m not sure I’d call Ben & Jerry’s food of the poor. Those little cartons are pretty expensive. Unless of course you are comparing it to Haagen Dazs.
Mmmmm. Pizza.