Seafoodpunch

A few years ago, an article published on CNN’s site shook the nation:  this article claimed that women who gave their special man at least one mouth-hug a week reduced their chances of getting breast cancer by an astonishing 40%!

It was complete pandemonium:

“Holy crap,” you could hear women yell around the world, “pass the penis!”

“I TOLD you,” was the natural male response.

Men, of course, finally had a reason to get off the couch.

They strutted around town displaying their magical, cancer reducing appendage for the world to see.

The supply and demand problem was solved!

Oh, happy day!

Woman could now overlook the fact that their men didn’t have goals in life, or impeccable hygiene…

Just BEING with a man was good for your health. These women managed to love that piece of their man a little more than usual and convinced themselves that if the prescribed medicine tasted horrible, or burned, or left one with a terrible rash…it HAD to be working, right?

At least that’s what mom used to say about her meds.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end: A few weeks later the graduate student who submitted the report, Brandon Williamson, admitted the whole thing to be a prank.

He only hoped that guys took advantage of the sensation while it lasted.

I’m sure he is still considered a national hero.

While a man’s lovable, little tadpoles don’t affect breast health, there are REAL studies showing that women who have sex regularly are less depressed (duh), have  a stronger immune system and may even help increase the population of an endangered species-the crab louse.

On the other hand, it is important to note that performing fellacio on a lucky lady reduces a man’s risk of gum disease and cavities.

An article online said so.