Blowhards and Blowholes

Posted by gspeed on Feb 6, 2010 in Animalia | 3 comments

People will pay good money to watch a whale expel a cloud of snot into the air while it gracefully slides out of the water for a short breather.

Unfortunately, watching your 300 pound brother-in-law perform the same feat doesn’t leave observers feeling all fuzzy inside…

and people will definitely ask for their money back.

Whales have all the luck: Not only are whales admired for their sheer mass (A blue whale’s tongue-as large as an elephant- could crush a Buick), but they get to eat all day, are born with the innate ability to carry a tune and have a big hole in their foreheads.

This blowhole is what people line up to see when they go whale watching…

they know it’s unrealistic to really see anything else most of the time.

I was lucky enough to end up on a boat which a playful right whale decided to swim under for miles. This ‘little’ guy would pop up every few minutes and we would all run towards this massive animal while it proceeded to spew forth gallons of water, spit and warm air.

I got hit in the face by a rogue chunk of whale saliva, and was immediately envied by all the other passengers.

How could I BE so lucky??!

Whales and all the mammals in the cetacean family are some of the smartest animals on earth. I have a theory, and it has to do with the big ol’ hole on their foreheads:

This hole has GOT to be ventilating their giant brains.

I know my brain works a whole lot better after I inhale some fresh air into my nostrils…Ideally an ocean breeze.

Thankfully, without opposable thumbs, whales won’t be getting into too much trouble any time soon.

However, if apes learned to use a sharp stick to poke a brain-ventilation hole in their faces…we’d be in a sh&*load of trouble.