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Nuts!
I ran out of food while backpacking in Hawaii a few years ago, and ate nothing but coconuts for a day. It was NOT fun let me tell you. There is more to the story, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.
I couldn’t handle coconuts for a while. (Do you know how hard it is to open those things with nothing on you but a spork and some rocks?!!)
The reason I bring this up is because I recently saw a photo of the worlds LARGEST coconut (aka nut of the sea), and even though the photo may seem harmless to most people, it forced me to recall my horrible coconutty experiences.
The monstrocity of a nut staring back at me weighed a whopping 45 pounds. Some of the more ambitious nuts even grow to be 80 pounds! It just doesn’t seem right. A nut should not be that big…EVER.
As if the size of this thing isn’t enough of an insult, it shuns serious scholars with its name too. The botanical name of this coconut translates to “beautiful rump” since the floating mound resembles a woman’s heini bobbing in the waves.
Sailors were really desperate to find women at sea, I think…
If those louse infested, scurvy riddled crew members got manatees confused with buxom mermaids, then I’m not surprised that they assumed those coconuts were women mooning them from the water.
Those sea butts better not ever float in my direction…
I had no idea they got that big. I would like to see the tree that produces such a monster.
Hey Marvin,
I wouldnt mind seeing the tree that makes those “coco de mer’s” either. But only because that would mean that I’d be enjoying a nice long stay at the Seychelle islands. the only place where these trees exist. Lets go!!
WHAT?
Women’s butts?
Yeah, those sailors were desperate AND delirious.
I agree:a nut should fit on the end of a finger. Anything bigger, and it gets reclassified. Just look at that friendly cashew up there! Now THAT’s a nut.
JD: How do you fit a cashew on the end of a finger? But yeat, a coconut is just rude with it’s size. But i guess if i got really drunk and didnt eat all my vitamins, a coconut could potentially resemble a really cute puppy…or a paying job…that’s what i’m most desperate for right now.