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Hmm…Smells Like Fish
*Sniff* My GOD, what IS that? Why does the guy sitting next to me on the bus always smell like he’s allergic to soap? I should be a little more considerate, though. Maybe he’s one of those people cursed with a condition that makes him smell like cat food gone bad. Poor Guy.
I guess I shouldn’t gag when someone afflicted with “smelly-fish syndrome” takes a seat next to me. They can’t help it.
I’m not making this up. Fish-odor syndrome (FOS) happens when people don’t have the appropriate enzyme to degrade the fishy smelling chemical found in dense foods like eggs, liver, and of course…fish. These people are forced to sweat or pee out the offensive chemical (aka amino-trimethylamine or TMA) and will smell like fish even if they shower daily and smear on the deodorant. If you’re afflicted with FOS I would recommend working at a fishstick factory…where nobody can tell the fishy syndromed people apart from the fish covered employees. YAY!
Alright, so I’m not perfect. I love spicy food. Spicy food with GARLIC! LOTS of garlic! It took me a while to figure out why I smelled like an Italian bistro for DAYS no matter how much mouthwash I gargled down.
Garlic is potent for a reason. The sulphur compounds in the stuff are absorbed in the bloodstream and will flow around seeping out of your pores for a while. It is absorbed in your lungs too. This means irreversible garlic breath. And guess what else? Mouth wash does NOT help! Goddamnit! Mouthwash actually makes things WORSE! Those lying assholes!
Let me explain: The alcohol found in most mouthwashes will dry up your mouth, and after that tasty mint flavor is gone, you’ll smell even worse. Sucking on deodorant doesn’t help either.
Moral of the story: So what can you do if you tend to stink it up? Buy enough garlic pizza or onion infused bratwursts for everybody!!
You’re all empty promises. You say there would be a full article by the end of the day yesterday, yet there’s still only this super sexy pic. What gives?
blah! You got me! I’m SORRY!
The more people I smell, the more I like my dog.
Marvin: what about people that smell like dog?
Found your site via Virus Stompers. Love the artwork. It’s terrific. A guy across the hall at college smelled like dirty magazines, whack-off, and massive BO. Is there a medical term for that?
Hey Kurt! Glad you stopped by. I don’t get that many guests. =P I think the medical term for magazine and whack off smell is called ‘frat boy syndrome’.