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Chastity Facemask
Nothing is cooler than pulling a crusty, old, headgear out of your face to ensure your fellow classmates that you aren’t really a horse.
I had a hard enough time fitting in as the awkward, plumpy, awkwardly dressed, new kid…
But that damn metal, torture device propelled me into a whole new category of unpopular.
My teeth weren’t even that bad. I did NOT deserve this.
My father’s first attempt at ruining my life with braces backfired: Apparently I was still too attractive with the multicolored (purple, blue and yellow) metal wiring covering my teeth.
I still believe that my father, in his haste to make sure that I didn’t rush into any relationships, paid a doctor good money to pull that horrible harness over my face thereby ensuring that nobody would ever want a make out session with the new kid at school.
Who knows…but if that was indeed the case, it definitely worked.
He was a genius.
Thank God the majority of kids in my generation have ADD so they pretty much got bored of harassing me about my little accessory after 3.2 minutes.
AHAHAHA! Poor be-braced child. I never wore mouth braces, but I had to wear a back brace during high school. That was pretty effective against being too popular.
hey JD,
a backbrace huh? that doesnt sound fun either. But at least we are both better off because of it. I think.