Bellybuttons Mean Trouble

Posted by gspeed on May 19, 2009 in Health & Fashion, Monsters, Myths & Legends | 0 comments

The eye is always drawn to that obnoxious lint-greedy hole (aka the bellybutton) sticking out in the middle of your gut. It just sits there…waiting…watching… and causing unnecessary drama in all of our lives.

I remember drawing a bug-eyed dog for someone’s little brother years ago. He was happy until I added a little splotch right on the dog’s gut. I always found belly buttons funny. The kid didn’t see any humor in the little dot and immediately gave me a shocked look. This bellybutton…this hand-drawn, barely visible, little DOT… made him incredibly uncomfortable. Iguarantee that he would’ve been less upset if I’d drawn his mom giving a bellybutton free dog a  lap-dance.

The navel definitely causes a lot of controversy: We all know that a bellybutton forms from a baby’s umbilical cord.  You need a mom to get one…so what about Adam and Eve? Adam definitely didn’t come to this earth via the traditional method so what does that mean? He wasn’t born, but created…does that mean he didn’t get a navel?

Many artists avoided this issue altogether by strategically hiding Adam’s belly button behind a leaf or tree branch. Michelangelo was one of the braver artists though, and he had the balls to paint Adam blessed with a navel right on the roof of the Sistine Chapel for everyone to see…including the Pope. Some people are still pissed about that.

(Even later, in the 1940′s, the U.S House Military Committee refused to hand out a booklet to American soldiers because it had illustrations showing Adam and Eve with a navel. It’s just art for crying out loud!)

The bellybutton has also made a name for itself as a sex symbol, albeit an occasionally stinky and linty one. Ever watch the show “I Dream of Jeannie” with the cute little genie granting random wishes? I always imagine a genie wearing loose MC Hammer style pants hanging on the waistline and a bikini top to match. The bellybutton should just come with the outfit. But in the 60′s hit “I Dream of Jeannie” the navel was never revealed. Censors wouldn’t have it. God knows what would have happened to the country if families were allowed to watch a sexy lady live with an unmarried man AND see her navel too??! It would have caused riots.

The bellybutton has definitely been though a lot in the past 500 years. I guess I should just be happy to have one of those sassy buttons (two would definitely be too much, though).