Sandwichocracy

Guest post by Micah Zuorski (completely unedited)

On Sandwichocracy *

How about ‘sandwichocracy’, a form of government where power is determined by sandwich. In a democratic sandwichocracy, a sandwich is chosen by the people.

In a fascist sandwichocracy, the people are given no choice but to love and obey the sandwich.

Under sandwich anarchy, the sandwich is probably actually two hubcaps with a bar of soap between them.

Sandwich monarchy; the guy with the biggest sandwich now essentially owns all the sandwiches, and will pretty much sandwich whatever he damn well pleases.

Sandwich communism; everyone gets the same sandwich, except the sandwich makers have no incentive to produce sandwiches, so sandwich production falls off and most people end up eating two hubcaps with a bar of soap.

Republic of Sandwich; Sandwich composition is determined by a series of laws. Ultimately the system is corrupted by the innate greed and short-sightedness of sandwich eaters, go get the hubcaps and soap.

* inspired by Dinosaur Comics

You can't resist the sammich

 

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3 Responses to “Sandwichocracy”

  1. Marvin says:

    So with the Crap Sandwich (the porkulus), the government forces you to pony up $18,000 for a crappy sandwich that you could have made yourself for pennies. And you have to use surplus Wisconsin cheese, and moldy liverwurst.

  2. Ed says:

    The zen sandwich is one slice of bread (for the hand that is clapping) with nothingness on it.

  3. Seafoodpuncher says:

    Ed: I always knew that the practice of Zen was never really that fullfilling.

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