Get A Haircut, Leeching and Tooth Pulled Today!

Posted by gspeed on Jan 7, 2009 in Health & Fashion | 4 comments

There are only two things that force me to take Valium: Airplane rides and going to the dentist. There is no real reason to be afraid of flying (besides the fact that you’re thousands of feet in the air trapped in a metal box) but dentists are a whole different story.

On your left you see a 17th century painting of a poor schmoe getting his tooth pulled. While standing no less! Not only does the guy look like he is about to wet his pants, but the woman in the background is…what is she doing?…picking his pockets?!

Honestly, dentists have come a long way since they first started pulling out teeth centuries ago, so they deserve a lot of credit. In the middle ages, for example, teeth were knocked out with a hammer or pulled with some pliers. Worst of all, you didn’t have the luxury of Novocaine.

If you were lucky, you got to take a few swigs of heavy liquor and then used the empty bottle to hit yourself in the face, hopefully knocking the bad tooth out in the process.

For the longest time-at least till the 1300′s-people believed that a ‘tooth worm’ caused tooth decay. Apparently, they burrowed through your teeth leaving holes in their wake. If that isn’t a good plot for a horror movie, I honestly don’t know what is.

Most people had a ‘worm’ problem since oral hygiene wasn’t as much of an event as it is today. It would be wrong to assume that people didn’t TRY their best to keep their teeth clean, though. The Chinese had toothbrushes made from the thick hair that grew on the necks of pigs, while the French eventually caught on to the idea in the 17th century and began using toothbrushes as well. Even prehistoric people had grooves between teeth from stringing natural ‘floss’ between them to pop out those mammoth meat chunks that just seem to love getting stuck in there.

Until dental schools finally opened up in the mid 1800s, being a dentist wasn’t really something you bragged about. Before that, neighborhood barbers were available to give customers a spiffy new haircut in addition to knocking out a few rotten teeth. It was simple  and anyone with a strong stomach and an even stronger swinging arm could do it.

Barbers were definitely busy back then. Not only did they have to give you a shave and a haircut, but if it was time for your weekly blood-letting, then they had to prep the leeches for that too. The barber’s pole was designed to symbolize what the profession was all about- colored white and red to reflect the intertwined blood-stained and clean bandages that were used for the popular blood-letting process.

Nowadays, it is pretty common knowledge that dentists have one of the higher suicide rates. Who could blame them? They are under-appreciated, no-one is ever happy to walk into their offices and they stare into stinky gaping holes all day (same goes for proctologists). Back in the day, barber shops were teaming with energy, and it is where you went to gossip about the village idiot or the neighborhood prostitute. It was a social event! Nothing compared to the morbid waiting rooms in today’s modern offices.

At least now dentists have a variety of drugs to make you forget where you are.You may even get felt up by a really generous dentist. As for barber shops, at least you know that you’re not going to leave missing a few teeth.